Merry Christmas vs Bah, Humbug?!

I should say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all but I'm afraid it wouldn't be very sincere right now. I wish you all well,but I don't have the energy for a hearty, upbeat and cheery greeting.

The Christmas Spirit has had a little trouble finding me this year.
I had the usual lunch at my parents place surrounded by family, food and lots of lego (nephews) but having worked (and i use this term loosely as there was no financial gain) almost 22 days straight, possibly more, depending on where you wish to draw the line - excuse me if I am a little exhausted.

What was I so busy with??

I went to Dubbo for 17 days to work in some very muddy and unexpectedly cold conditions and I chose to sandwich that project with 2 short film projects - one of which was my very own where I had the thrill and honour to work with a much loved comedian from my younger days.

These little red boots were new and virginal on Day One in Dubbo. The photo to the left is what they spent most of the next 17 days looking like. I put them to rest in Dubbo as they had started to crack and die on me (photo to right).
They did me well and I was sad to see them go.  RIP little red boots!

And YES, I went to the Zoo in my  "downtime".   GO TEAM ZOO!!!


I got home form Dubbo on Monday night (after about a week of night shoots, so my body was kinda jet lagged) I spent the next 2 days set dressing and finalising all the requirements for my own project which I shot with friends on Thursday, Friday was running around between an Editor and de-dressing my set/location. Friday night - me time, so I did my grocery shopping and started cleaning the house, Saturday a deluxe car wash  while I finished my Christmas shopping, then home to cookie baking, present wrapping and a bottle of Sparkling Shiraz. ;-)

So, Christmas has felt like a bit of a chore and to be honest for a single woman in her late 30's,  it can suck a little. What does Christmas mean to you? It is a time to be surrounded by family, friends, and celebrating with loved ones. I have an amazing seafood meal with family and give gifts to those close to me - which is lovely but on the other side it can be a bit of a reminder of what I don't have. Oops, I have a career and an apartment in the eastern suburbs, did I forget to have a family? I am happy with who I am and the choices I have made in my life to get me to where I am but I am also home alone writing this blog on Christmas night. Nuff said.

I don't write this for your sympathy or your pity - it's simply what is in my head right now.

This week I also found proof that I can sleep walk - it was pretty freaky!!

love what you do!

I'm sure no one missed me last week. I have been in Dubbo for work playing in the mud.

This is the only industry I know where people are willing to work so hard and not get paid - and why? Because we love it!!!

Passion. I am SO lucky to have a job that I really enjoy. I am spending 12 hours running around in sun, rain, dirt, mud, day, night, hot and cold with people who are just as in love with what they do and it is great being surrounded by like minded people.

If you are a regular reader here you will know how miserable i got when i took the office job. never again. I'm sticking to doing what I know and love. AND it's always different project by project, always new challenges.

I don't have a lot on my mind right now other than being very busy with my passion until early next year and beyond. I will probably have more to say towards the end of the year. I tend to start reassessing things again. With a birthday in June and then new years, i do this quite regularly - where am i? what have i done with myself and what's the next step.

I'm excited at the moment - it can only get better, right. life is good.

The Island

Do you remember the line in "Stand By Me" - I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

 

My 12 yr old friends were pretty special but I think I have been lucky enough to experience it again at 30.

When I was 30 - we had the ISLAND. We were all young and single and having fun. It was a bit like the show "Friends". We would have weekly adventures that would involve all of us, some weeks more focused on some characters and less on others, regular special guests and lots of bit parts and extras who you can't remember the names or faces of anymore. There were a few intergroup hook ups - some that lasted, some that didn't. It was during a surge of reality TV where people were voted off if they weren't liked enough. We developed an easy way to explain what someones relation to the group was by using this ISLAND analogy. There were the key players - we were citizens of the island. If you were a new friend to the island but we weren't sure about you yet - your visa was awaiting approval. Short term boy/girl friends - temporary residents. Friends who were in but we just didn't see as often - permanent residents who could come and go as they pleased. But if you crossed us, ba-bom - voted off and you were no longer welcome on our island.

The island over time - like the land masses on this earth that separated out to form the continents - has also spread out into satellite islands. Most are married, getting married or co-habitating with partners - they have their own little islands now. Me? I have my own little island and the best boat - coz I tend to be the one that goes and visits everyone. No one's island is quite big enough to get us all on it anymore and I can't remember the last time we all saw each other. I don't even know if that time was as special to them as it was to me. I like to believe it was coz I am still very close to them all, I just don't see them every week like we did back then.

I miss the times I had a close group of friends I could rely on. Now I have a little hermit shack on my little island. I visit the other islands from time to time, and have new networks of islands that I spend time on. Can't wait to see who I might meet at age 50!!

Another big week!

I actually got through quite a bit this week - despite also procrastinating a hell of a lot.
If I want to get fit then I need to exercise - this means going to the beach and swimming. But Y'know, it's been a while so I have to take it easy. And after a good little swim I need to recoup by lying in the sunshine on the sand for a bit. I wasn't lazing at the beach or procrastinating - i was "exercising". There you go - justified.

Loving the whole "working for myself" thing. I do what i want when i want.

How can I be so incredibly busy yet feel so incredibly lazy at the same time. Is that a contradiction?
Maybe if I wasn't so lazy, I'd actually get everything done and therefore wouldn't feel stupid busy.
Been sleeping in, got a new car stereo installed, did a chunk of Christmas Shopping (YAY - toys are us!!), did Sculptures by the sea, caught up with mates and made some new old connections.

Things are so disposable these days. I buy a new pair of Havaianas every year, cars aren't made to last much more than 5 years, financial records only have to be kept for 5 years, I disposed of my marriage after only 3 years, I work freelance contracts.  Everything is disposable. BUT beware - Things have a tendancy to come around again.

I have been making new connections with people from my past this week. I got an email from someone from the very beginning of my career 18 years ago asking me to work on his new project, and I also found someone I worked with back in 96 by the pure coincidence of doing a small favour for a friend. Very Random! People remember you - it can be good and bad - but so far it's been good for me.

I really need to reduce my alcohol intake of late (I blame you ROB!) I have been drinking like I am on holidays - ie Often.  The other downfall is the saturday morning sleep in and hangover which means you don't get your ass to the beach until all the bloody tourists have set up camp.

HIGHLIGHTS
HINKY DINKS - highly recommended small bar at 185  Darlinghurst Road.  I had a Dinky 5-0 cocktail. So yeah, a funky 60's decor with cool cocktail names, little kitchen containers like my mum has and they have a mini popcorn maker!! So much fun. But get in early - they close at midnight.

BANK ACCOUNT - A hefty surprise pay out from the corporate job that i quit. Happy Bank account! :-)

So there you go - my priorities and what makes me happy - alcohol, money and cute popcorn makers!

What a Smurferific Week I've had!!

Wow, What a week!!!

Let's see: -
1. finished up at soul sapping job, got lovely bunch of flowers and big box of Malteasers.
2. got to go to post office for not 1 but 2 parcels: A- my smurfs have come back to me, and B - Halloween card form Vancouver.
3. beach swim and brunch with fellow beach bum
4. had huge overdue catchup with a bestie that involved a bottle of Peterson's sparkling shiraz
5. a very entertaining friday night out with a mate
6. a surprise visit from the desert
7. lots of beach and swimming in the ocean
8. Another healthy birth of a little baby girl
9. huge win on my own short film
10. and today, i am having home made congee.

So what do you want to hear about? I want to tell stories of my Friday night out at many venues around Sydney city with a male friend as opposed to previous prowl nights out with the girls. It's a different dynamic and you get a very different take on things.

From suits out on Friday night drinks at Customs house, to intimate cocktails at Stitch, to a Frenchman telling me about how dark rum is a man's drink and girls can't handle it, to meatmarket and dam good boogie at Marble Bar.

When with a group of girls, they tend to encourage meeting new people and paying individual men special attention whether you really want to or not. With a male friend, the slightest sign that says "I'm not really into this guy" and my friend will finish his drink and announce "C'mon were getting outta here." The other noteworthy thing is the funny look people get just before asking that crucial "Is he your boyfriend?" question, and then the actions they take as soon as you say no, he's not my boyfriend. Seriously,  does pulling a girl in closer and trying to kiss her neck at lightning attack speed really give you the right impression? To be fair - it did convey his message loud and clear and I knew exactly what he was after. Though do you really keep trying when a girl has moved off with her "minder" to the other bar and then points out that you have been trying the same thing on a good dozen other girls in the same venue. Shut Down Dude!!

I was also privvy to the male mind of dating this weekend. Rules and games of numbers, going solo vs the two man wingman approach, having to "take one for the team" and keep the friend occupied (esp difficult if she is less attractive) and if there are too many guys then the focus changes from picking up chicks to getting drunk with the lads.
Silly me - all this time I just wanted to hang out with friends and enjoy their company and have some fun. I never knew it was this complicated!

Have a Smurfy week my friends!!
(and yes the Smurfs in the photo are mine and they are original!, am I showing my age again?)

In the Pursuit of Happiness

hmmm, another sunday night of late night blurry headed blogging.

Let's see - being at work form 8am to 11 pm is supremely wrong!
Summer is on it's way but the water is still pretty cold.
Why the need to partner up? - I still don't understand it.

Happiness - it's all anyone wants isn't it?

I was unhappy in my marriage - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I got a divorce.
I was unhappy in my job - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I quit.
But am I happy? I'm content.

I went to a party on Saturday night - I think I was the oldest person there. I shouldn't be hung up on this , but I am very aware of it this year. I don't look my age, I don't think I ever will. So when it comes to coupling up and meeting people I generally get approached by people about 10 years younger than me when based on looks. Then you start talking to them and it soon becomes abundantly clear that we are not in the same place in our lives. House parties and nights out just feel like I have been here before about 10 years ago and I pretend to belong and fit into this world.

Same goes for if I hang out with my married friends. backyard BBQ's surrounded by couples and kids running everywhere. I feel like I don't quite fit there either.

So I keep looking.

I don't know know if I will ever be completely happy. I am happy with where I am in my life, who I am and things a I have achieved, but I will always want more. It's just my nature.

the kids are alright!

There are days when I roll my eyes in disbelief at the younger generation.

I hate to admit it but yes I am of an age where I can legitimately say that. I have been (un)fortunate enough this past year to work with a lot of early 20something people and have been quite taken aback at their attitude. The over confidence and the "Why can't I do what you do?" attitude. It is a huge generalisation and of course it is always just a few rotten apples that spoil the whole bunch.

Was it the same when I was that age? Maybe I was that cocky kid once upon a time too.

I overheard a young couple on what I think may have been their first date in a restaurant this week.
28 is apparently "SO old", and this young med student didn't understand why doctors look like they do (ie tired). She believed that doctors should look better than everyone else. WTF?! All I could think was - she has no idea what a hard days work is does she. Then I put a few other clues together - Bondi, comes from money, Jewish - she hasn't done a hard days work in her short short life ever!!!

And then there are times the younger generation come through and really surprise me.

I'd like to tell you how proud I am of my niece and how honoured I feel to have been an influence in her life. I love being an aunt and it could be all I have if I never get around to having kids of my own.

My niece went to Thailand with a school program to head into the villages near Chang Mai and help them build basic facilities. It was an amazing experience for her and I am so glad she had the opportunity. She and her friends helped the village build 2 water towers in 5 days!! They ate local food and played with the kids and experienced a culture completely removed from their own - bathing in the river, squat toilets, a foreign language, sleeping on the floor of a hut while being eaten alive by mosquitos.

They did find some time to shop - as all good teenage girls should. She bargained with market stall owners on jewellery and souvenirs. She happily wore what she could tonight at dinner and brought presents for her grandparents and 3 younger nephews. She was not prompted by anyone to do this, just did it because she wanted to. And that impressed me too.

Festival Season has begun!

WOW, A good week! How was yours?

I had a lovely Sunday in the sun by the harbour drinking with my boys. If you know me on Facebook you probably saw some photos. Came home and went to bed early all prepped for Monday.

I'm not going to talk about work this week - I will just say that it feels as if a weight has been lifted and there is a smile on my face again.

The sun is out and the weather is warming up, festival season is starting up and today I headed over to the Marrickville Festival. It was great being out amongst it with my bestie, who happens to be a Marrickville local, for now. And what is a festival without Festie Food.

Move aside humble shish-kebab,  food on a stick seems to be a Festival Favourite.
Some classic food on stick staples are ice blocks, lollipops, fairy floss, toffee apples and pluto pups. You can get generally them year round and it doesn't have to be a festival to find them.

Corn cobs on sticks has become very popular over the past few years. I am a big fan of this - smothered in butter and salty, chilli sprinkles. yum! And kinda healthy - unless you smother it in salt and butter.

Fruit on a stick - your choice whether you get the big chocolate dipped strawberries or the simple seasonal chopped fruit on a stick. All very yum and again kinda healthy too.

I know - what's so great about food on a stick, you're not telling us anything we haven't seen before. Well today, I saw something I haven't seen before - Chips on a stick!! Sliced potato, lightly battered, deep fried AND served on a stick! How good is that?!

My personal Festival Favourite is turkish gozleme. I love the old turkish women working on the production line of this fried delicacy of the middle east. I think it reminds me of being surrounded by family in a small kitchen for major dumpling making sessions.

Now if only they would put it on a stick!!!

ps. these are my actual photos not like my cheater photo of wontons from last week.

Good morning SUNDAY!!!
The sun is shining, the weather is warm and I'm not hungover!!!

Why can't I dance before midnight? Am i showing my age when i ask what is wrong with wanting to dance sober before midnight, why does society make it difficult to do this? maybe I'm just hanging with the wrong crowd.

I was all geared up to go out with the girls last night- a week in the planning, names on door lists, that kinda thing. Saturday came and the plan was to meet at 10. All good, home form catching up with long lost friends at a christening and a good mid afternoon greek feed. time to chill for a bit, cancel dinner plans and get ready for that big night out. I was ready and out the door at 930 to find my friends were all still home grooming. No prob, let's go back inside and watch another 15 mins of an all-time favourite movie "the wedding singer".  It is soon past 10pm and I am way too comfy on the couch and there was only another 20 mins or so of the movie left. I take my heels off and make a firm decision that I am not going anywhere, I type a text to  a friend letting her know i wont be coming out and before i can hit send a text comes in saying "in cab, on my way". Seconds too late, sorry girls!!!

This is what my life has become. I don't want to go out late, binge drink and pick up strange young boys. I go to Christenings where i feel like a complete freak as a 30 something divorcee surrounded by families and couples. At one point I thought "should I have a 10 year old kid already?" Not baby or toddler but 10 year old? That is what went through my brain.

Sometimes I wish I was less ambitious and could just be happy with the simple things in life. My pre 20 boyfriends would have married me, I could of had kids and a house in the suburbs. I wonder how the me in that dimension is doing - is she happy? She is probably wondering what her life would of been like if she put travel and career before husband & family.

Anyhoo, I'm going to make a big batch of home made wontons now and then head to the pub with my mates.
(this is not a photo of MY wontons, but I'll take a photo once I've made them, ok.)

Sorry to disappoint but i don't think i have anything to say this week.

I miss sleeping in coz I didnt get a chance to this weekend.

Saturday I awoke early and drove out to Eastern Creek Dragway for a defensive driving course. They go over what feels like common sense kinda stuff but also some good reminders to check yourself on as a driver. You also get to drive really fast down a dragstrip and do emergency stops. No burnouts or handbrake's tho -  that's the next course. ;-)

Home for a nana nap then up and out for a birthday dinner at Ju Ju's in the cross. great sushi and sake cocktails but I can't recommend the hot food, DO recommend geting out before 10pm when it becomes a karaoke bar. Karaoke makes me shudder with fear!!!

Over to the Victoria Room for a cocktail. I say "A" cocktail because of the price tag that comes with them. Impressive and tasty but damn expensive! And I don't think it's really my place. I just don't feel comfortable in places like that - but I think that's just me these days.

Was excited that I managed to stay up past midnight now that my alarm tends to go off at 6am and my body clock has me yawning by 9pm. I think that's largely from the sedentary nature of office work. let's hope the sun comes out this week to get me moving more.

What else - Today my nephew turned 2. We had cake, candles, balloons and chocolate crackles - what a great party!!

And now an early night curled up with my laptop and series 3 of Being Human - the proper English version, not the crappy, commercial US version.

A friend did tell me about a movie that got me thinking - "What's your number?" looks like a cheesy predictable US rom-com but could pose some interesting relationship related discussion. "Crazy Stupid Love" was also recommended to me this week. Now, i just gotta find the time to fit in a movie or 2 this week.

Birthdays, Booze and Big decisions.

Right, so it's a blog you want huh?...

What's on my mind? What's really on my mind is this HUGE career decision that is hanging on my head at the moment but I can't really tell you about it coz it will bore you and possible reveal a little too much of myself.

So moving on, it's been a month of milestone birthday celebrations. There was my Dad's 70th, a friend's 40th, a friend's 30th and next week my nephews 2nd birthday. Yes, I know quite a range of people. There was also my sister (not a milestone b'day), my ex husband's (but we don't talk about him anymore) and a bunch of other friends - who if they did have parties, didn't invite me.

So of the 4 that I mentioned, I'll tell you what we did and see if you can figure out which goes with which.
- a restaurant dinner with 4 tables of close family and friends.
- a very well catered house party with music, dancing, a well stocked bar and an amazing cake.
- an intimate house party with food, family and balloons.
- a large pub gathering with food and a bar tab!!!
Guess all you want, I'm not going to tell you, but if you are a regular reader you'll know exactly what I did for my Dad's 70th and you were probably at at least 1 of the other 3 parties I mentioned.

I spent yesterday feeling rather poorly (yes, that's code for hangover) and watching back to back episodes of Being Human (the English version , thank you  very much!!), and today a good part of the day was spent 'having coffee' with friends. I put this in "" because I don't actually drink coffee. Instead I had a chai latte, a fresh mixed juice, some water and a cocktail.

My 30 year old friend has discovered just what being in your 30's can mean - 2 day hangovers!!!!
My lesson learnt this week - Absinthe, it may look pretty and feel harmless but it sure can hurt the next day!!

The Work - Life Balance Battle

Last week I told you all about my adventure in the rat race. I may have gone beyond the rat race. This is what I thought as I was catching the train home at about 8pm on Friday evening with people all dressed up and heading out for the night. *sigh*, that used to be me....

Anyhoo, got me thinking about the work - life IMbalance in my life at the moment. I tried to get a friend of mine a job with me, but she declined because she chose life. Many thought she was crazy to turn the offer down, myself included. BUT after a bit of a rough week - I stopped and realised I was living on 6 hrs sleep  again, drinking a can of V in the morning, skipping meals, not getting outside, not moving or exercising as much as I'd like and my eyes hurt from staring at a computer screen for 10 hours a day in a fluorescent lit office. Doesn't sound healthy does it? It's not!

So to fight back at work and try and swing some more life into the mix I did get out to The Comedy Store last Thursday, a movie on Saturday and a birthday party on Saturday night.

The Comedy Store - my cuz invited me along to a night of comedy. Exhausted from work, I decided I needed a laugh and amazingly managed to get out of the office in time to make it to an 815pm show. Can you believe this was my first time at The Comedy Store?? I have lived about 10 mins drive away for  the last 8 years and worked with comedians who perform there regularly for the last 5 years. So I really had no excuse. I digress -  A great night, lots of laughs with some new up and coming Aussie comedians and thrilled to see my friend Anthony Salame on the stage. I have seen him perform many times now but enjoy it every time. It's great seeing people doing what they love.

Beginners
A film by Mike Mills. A lovely drama about life, death, art and love. No explosions or special effects but a beautiful film with a quality cast and script. I miss these films sometimes.

The Eastern Hotel
I love the upstairs cocktail bar here. I celebrated my marriage AND my divorce here. A friend's 40th birthday. An absolutely wonderful guy in a room full of family and friends from all different areas of his life. It's a monumentous occaision. I can only hope that I will be able to fill a room with as many people when I celebrate my 40th.

Your homework assignment for the week - I suggest you look at your own life and think about whether you are truly happy. Coz, ultimately that's all we really want, isn't it? If you find your work - life balance a little out of whack (like mine has been lately), DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!
Good advice - now I just have to apply it to myself and decide which path I should take.

Thanks to Clair for inspiring this weeks topic.

RAT RACE

This week I joined the public transport Rat Racers of Sydney.

Monday morning I was up bright and early and up to the bus stop, bus to the train station and then a train to "the office".  I have not used PT regularly for at least 5 years.

I was so excited on Monday and couldn't understand why everyone looked so miserable. Is no one happy? Ok, given it is 7:43 in the morning. Newspapers, books, ipods, i phones, ipads, (Apple - you have changed our lives!) applying your morning make up or just snoozing, BUT no one talks to each other. It's just the way it is! Despite the fact many of these people probably see each other every day of the week a the same time in the same place. 

I love that my train trip takes me across the iconic Sydney Harbour Bridge. I used to do this commute years ago and while everyone else has their heads buried in their own little world I look out to the harbour and smile to  myself.  I have a job in my chosen profession , I live in Sydney and it's a nice day. That's  a hell of a lot more than some people can say so I consider myself very lucky and I think we all need to remind ourselves of that from time to time.

By Friday (or possibly sooner) the novelty had worn off a bit. I drove 1 day, that was even worse due to the lack of parking available and Friday I was running around with a few cab charges - which was good on the transport side, but somehow allowed SO many other things in to zap my spirit. The 10 hr days had me travelling home in the dark which makes it harder to see the beautiful harbour. Instead I popped on my headphones and blended with everyone else. 

The plan is to move offices pretty soon to somewhere with parking. I am very much looking forward to that day. But for now its back to the PT rat race for me tomorrow! If you see me - come say HI, it'll put a smile on both our faces.

I tried to take a break...

What a week!!! I started a new job!

MONDAY - meeting # 1, it goes well.
TUESDAY - send resume to #2, quick response. No word from #1. late in the day #2 wants my references and #1 wants me to do some free prep work and meet with crew tomorrow.
WEDNESDAY - meet with Crew #1 while #2 is trying to get me to come in for a meeting. #3 emails me. - It never rains, it pours!! - i kinda like it that way.
THURSDAY - meet with #2. not 1/2 an hour after walking out of their office I have an offer on the table. I need to make the AWKWARD call to #1 backing out of an undocumented non-binding verbal agreement. #3 barely got a look in as it was a love job.
FRIDAY - start work at #2.
SATURDAY - morning meeting for my personal project with my selected crew - SO exciting but can't tell you about it...yet.

That sounds a bit harsh but to put it in perspective:  #1 was a 2 week low budget project, #3 was a 2 day freebie project and #2 sees me selling out to the  corporate world by signing onto an 8 month contract with a  commercial mainstream project.
I was hoping #2 would start up right after #1 - it would have been terrific if I could fit them all in but sometimes things clash and you are forced to make a choice. I'm glad I had some friends to talk to about it all because although I have made it sound simple above, it was an odd choice for me to make. I have always been one to run away from stability and permanency and the # 1 project was set to be a lot of fun and with some guys that I love working with. I did make the right choice -  despite it being a slight side step to my career it's definitely a step forward too. It also means I can start looking at getting a new car, or redoing the kitchen, or an OS holiday next year, or maybe a scooter....

That was my week, along with a house guest, a movie night with too much popcorn (Horrible Bosses), a dinner out (Bananapalm Vietnamese Restaurant).
NO wonder I am too tired to get my ass out of the house on a Saturday night that I promised I would go out dancing with girlfriends.  I just don't want to be hungover tomorrow coz I have so much to do!!!!!
Got a few things on the go right now and I'm gonna do them all - Gotta love being busy.

Happy Father's Day

I was going to go with POLITICS AND POWERTRIPS as a cool title for this week but politics makes me hesitate in posting what I actually wrote.

It started with -

Office politics is bullshit! This is why I don’t like working in offices

There is a thing called tact – which some people don’t seem to have.

It was inspired by a work function I attended but the drama of that night was soon superseeded by a lovely family dinner celebrating my Father's 70th Birthday.

And being Father's day today I thought this was more appropriate and way better karma for me too.

Just a small dinner for 50 of my parents friends and family and an AMAZING chinese banquet at Marigold restaurant in Sydney - Suckling pig, sang chow bau, lobster, steamed fish, abalone, chicken, scallops, shark's fin soup and more -  I can't remember it all coz I was food coma full about half way through the meal.

I don't see my extended family often these days and have always felt like the black sheep that didn't quite fit. Then I sat and enjoyed a glass of wine with 2 of my aunts. WOW what an education! I was hearing about all sorts of things I never knew, and had never dared to ask. What my dad was like when he was young, how my aunt met my uncle, the scandal of divorce in the 60's and lots of other family gossip.
 I finally felt that maybe I do fit in with this family.

They say a girl looks for a partner with similar characteristics to her father. I think about my past ex's and understand why they didn't last - I am single coz no one can beat my Dad!

Can Men & Women Really Be Friends?

"Friends with Benefits" – better than I expected. Laugh out loud even.

It’s the “When Harry met Sally” of the new generation. They are rom coms so yes the last third of these movie hits emotional moments of hormonal proportions. The girls get weepy and the boys are oblivious until they have the realisation that they won’t do any better than this and they make some grand romantic gesture that wins the girl over. Awwww….really?

 It poses the age old question of “Can men and women be friends? Or does sex get in the way?”

Harry/Billy Crystal said “No it can’t be done, not if one finds the other attractive.”

Sally/Meg Ryan – “So you can be friends with a woman if you don’t find her attractive?”

Harry/Billy – “No – you pretty much wanna nail them too?”

Gotta love the Honesty

So – CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE FRIENDS?

I used to think so – I treated everybody the same had lots of male friends. Then I got married. Suddenly the nights out I used to have with my boys became “boys nights” with my husband and I was excluded and at times laughed at for even thinking I could hang out with them. Sexism is alive and strong in our society.

To add to that, when I got divorced many of my male friends cut me out altogether because they decided they liked my ex better than me or something. Bros before hoes or some such crap.

Someone (a boy) tried to explain to me that once a guy has a girlfriend/wife/defacto/partner then they need to get away from a female influence because they have it in their lives as a constant. But when they are single then they are happy to have a female in their presence simply for that dose of female essence.

But it’s true – the reality of when my male friends started drifting away coincided with them getting girlfriends/wives/partners. 

Now I have “girls nights out” with friends that need to get away from their husbands and boyfriends. I love my girlfriends (always there when I need them) but I still don’t understand why men and women can’t enjoy each other’s company without sex getting in the way. 

And this probably explains why I am single – my inability to understand or accept social norms.

(And yes - this post will probably get me in trouble with any male friends I still have - oops, forgive me!)

There's a first time for everything!

this has been a week of firsts for me.

- First trapeze class
- First facial with my sisters
- First coffee tequilla
- First time to the new Cuban bar in the city.
- First time I have fallen asleep at 930 3 nights in a row.

I think I'm busier now i'm unemployed then when i was working. Catching up on everything and with everyone.

Trapeze - AWESOME!!!
highly recommend Sydney Trapeze School. By the end of one 2hr session I swung out, flipped into a knee hang and swung back out to be caught by a guy hanging off another swing! AND we did backward summersaults off the bar too!!! So excited - totally gets the adrenalin going. booked in for session 2 next week.

Facial - a lovely relaxing hour of pampering followed by a spot of lunch with my sisters. These moments are few and far between. treasure them.

Patron Coffee Tequilla  - nuff said. mmmmmm...

Cuban Bar - La Bodeguita Del Medio in York street just behind the QVB. Restaurant upstairs dancing downstairs. The dancefloor is a little tight but the music is good and you can write on the walls. The restaurant isnt bad - book ahead, it gets busy. The lamb neck and duck were fantastic but stay away from the scallops. service was excellent - they even charged my iphone for me.

and falling asleep early - can't complain about that! Heaven!!

Can i have an extension please?

Sorry kids - work work work, busy busy!
Finished one contract on Friday, partied about it on Friday night then had to go to Picton for the weekend for freebie project. back in Sydders now but 2 more days to do.
So - please wait til next week and i guarantee i'll write something good.
If you are lucky you may even get a mid week teaser.
til then, good night !

Flu season

Cough cough sniff sniff.
Been sick this week so a little sympathy please.
But what can I write about? It is usually inspired by a night out or a good meal but all I've done this week when not at work is sleep. I even lost my appetite!! I know - It's tragic!

Body aching, sore throat, headache but not too stuffed up - bonus!!
It's been a weird illness that comes and goes in waves.
Just as I think I'm getting better I get knocked out again.

Friday afternoon - I'm thinking, "yes, I've kicked it. I'm feeling better. Woo hoo!".
Saturday morning - I wake up to a beautiful sunny day. I enjoy the morning sun on my balcony and even consider going for a swim at the beach. As I potter about putting my beach bag together for the first time this season, dig out the bikini and look out the window to see a big fat grey cloud rolling in. Oh well, I take my time even more and decide to go to See Kung Fu Panda 2 instead - AWESOME!!! It was fun.
So it's still spectacularly warm and I go to reach for the beach bag again, look out the window and more cloud?! why are the damn clouds so eager to see me in a bikini. Bugger it - i'm going to the beach! and I know I won't be able to go down to the beach without going swimming. There are so many people out enjoying the sunshine but not too many in the water. OH - the water was perfect!! So glad I went in!
Sunday morning - Oh crap!!! I feel terrible! I lie in until nearly midday then courageously move to the couch only to fall asleep again.

So let's post this so I can get back to sleep!

Welcome to Cougartown!

The question I wish to pose to the blogosphere is this - Is a woman a cougar if no one thinks she is of cougar age?

What is a 'cougar'? defined as women 35+ who 'hunt' men in their early 20's. Urban dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cougar) has pages of definitions with positive and negative spins on it and everything in between.

I was meant to do something this Saturday night.

The original plan was a night out Eastside with the girls. That cancelled on Thursday and I awoke Friday to be invited to dinner at a friend's place. Friend gets a gastro bug and cancels just as I was invited for a night out in the city.

So, after about an hour of wardrobe changes I ended up in the same outfit that I started in then walked out the door only to return minutes later to change my shoes so I could walk more comfortably. High heels just aren't natural!!

First stop the famous Opera Bar. Beautiful views, expensive drinks, chilled music. great in summer but in winter it's just people hovered around outdoor heaters and not very conducive to mingling or showing off the outfit that took me an hour to decide on coz I am not about to take my winter jacket off.

Moving on to The Argyle- a 'hip' sydney bar set in a very cool old building in the Rocks. it's busy and the music makes you want  to move. The bar is about 2-3 people deep but if you keep your eyes open you can usually find the gap. Service is pretty swift considering the volume of people and drinks. At first glance I see lots of large groups of people and it seemed all the men were either 20 years old or 40 years old. We are extremely judgemental and move through the  whole place picking everyone apart. A usual night's conversation in this meat market, I'm sure.

You hang by and watch the rituals that go on. Guys and girls playing, playing the game, playing it cool, playing it oblivious. 

I do meet one young man we have a boogie, we have a drink and a chat. blah,blah blah the conversation is flowing, we might be hitting it off. He tells me he has been in Sydney for about 7 years now and he left his little country home town when he was 18. I'm thinking maybe he went somewhere else, did something in between. he says - no, i pretty much came straight to Sydney. RIGHT - so do the maths - this makes him 25. I don't look my age, so am i a cougar if no one believes i am as old as i really am?! it's just a number! and you know what they say " you're only as young as the man you feel!" 

;-)

Tall guys don't dig soul / Kamehameha!!!

Soul night at TONE!!

Brilliant venue, great vibe to the place. good music, movie nights and good pizza.

what do we notice?

there are a lot of short guys here

at least they seem to be our age group

And the bartender is really cute

So this scene tells us that tall guys don't like soul music, tall guys can't dance.

They kinda go together.

The few tall(ish) guys there - good on em for giving it a go - but lets face it they can't move as good as the shorter guys. Don't know why - just one of those things i guess, lower centre of gravity or something?!

So as for courtship - well the best offer I got was the guy I bumpd into on the way to the bathroom. I bumped into him agian on the way out and he told me how gorgeous I was and tht he wanted to dance. So I went to the dancefloor and never saw him again. 

Cardigan boy tried to get our attention - but never really had a chance. I'm sorry are you an american prep school boy from the 80's? Boys - dont ever tie your cardy or jumper around your shoulders. gay or straight it kinda screams "i have no fashion sense"

Biggest regret was leaving the really cool guy dancing with us. He had moves and he was having fun!! Sorry dude, but our time had come.

Other than this - I worked through the horrible rain, wind and cold that Sydney had all week with a headcold. (boohoo to me) So I am having a great, well deserved weekend in to myself. catching up on movies and still procrastinating about other stuff I need to do.

I have been needing brainless movies lately.

This Week

BAD TEACHER - brainless and fun. Justin Timberlake may have an acting career ahead of him yet?

GULLIVER'S TRAVELS - Jack Black and mindless entertainment - Tick

THE INVENTION OF LYING - Ricky Gervais does Ricky Gervais. Not great but an interesting concept and a few laughs.

DRAGONBALL EVOLUTION - A live action remake of a japanese classic story and a morning kiddie cartoon?! I used to watch this with my nephew religiously so I got a real kick out of watching real people do it. The acting is incredibly average and the american college setting ridiculous. Love the stunt action and effects! oh and James Marsters (Spike from Buffy the vampire slayer) plays Piccolo.

Kamehameha!!!!

Foodie Week

Zen - 20 Perouse Rd (the spot), Randwick

Japanese fusion restaurant. I used to love this place and i have friends that RAVE about it but now I'm not so sure.

I went there this week with my cuz, a fellow foodie.

it was ok. the teriyaki beef yum, the udon & Ramen good. I was in a hurry last week and my udon came out in minutes. So very impressed at the speed but the soup was a litttle luke warm, but the tempura was hot ( i think). The tempura is Very GOOD!

Gyoza just doesnt taste the same since i learnt how to make it (Thank you Godfather of Gyoza).  Zen's gyoza were kinda long & thin - this requires double dipping coz the whole dumpling won't fit in the sauce pot! and it's more than 1 mouthful. 

I like my Japanese food bitesized! Sushi - cute little nori rolls that fit easily into your dipping sauce and mouth. YES. now we have fusion and everyone trying to put MORE into everything. In Vancouver, in the land of all you can eat sushi - the rolls were THAT BIG that we ended up daring each other to shove the whole thing in our mouths - it was a quiet moment coz all our mouths were so full we could barely chew, let alone talk.

If you want good Japanese food - here's some of my favourites in Sydney. Otherwise go Vancouver for all you can eat sushi!!

Wasabi Bistro on Stanley St. We spent $70 (tea, no alcohol) for 2 of us and stuffed ourselves silly. it was all delicious even tho a touch pricy.

Sushi Fusion - 7 Belmore Rd, randwick

Ten - 80 Belmore Rd, Randwick.

Sushi-Goi - 230 Coogee Bay Rd, Coogee

ALSO this week - THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ERNEST at The Exchange Hotel in Balmain. What a great venue! it's a bar, it's a bistro and it's a theatre space!!! I shared a beer battered fish n chips and the salt n pepper squid - YUM! the squid was amazingly soft, don't know what they did to it but it was great.

THE NEPALESE KITCHEN - 481 Crown St Surry Hills.

a very reasonably priced banquet meal. Momo(chicken dumplings), battered prawns, potato fritter things, beef, beans, curry...i don't remember the names or exactly what we had but it's definitely worth a go. I walked away rubbing my bellyful of yummy goodness.

The CLOCK hotel - 470 Crown St

busy, happening, good crowd, weak drinks and the lights go on at midnight.

The COLUMBIAN - Cnr of Crown & Oxford

upstairs, dj's, dancing and a couple a shots. It was an interesting group last night - we had gay, straight, married, single and mum's. A big up to the Columbian for ignoring all these labels. It was just a room full of people having fun!!!!

how do you like your tea?

I was having a cup of tea with a friend. (Moroccan mint & spices) I declined her offer of honey and said "I like my tea straight." She giggled and said, "like your men!"
I couldn't deny it.


I have my Irish breakfast tea strong, not too milky, with one sugar. - Strong, tanned and sweet but not too sweet.
Couldn't deny that one either.


She went onto describe how my car also reflected my taste in men. Its an old skool Suzuki vitara - A little rough and rugged, practical and fun.


that's 3 for 3.


think about it! 
;-)

Sunday 10th July 2011

Another busy week for this little munky. The usual catching up with friends here and there in between my rare 9-5 work week, coffee catch ups, lunches,  industry networking, ice skating at the beach, a delayed hangover, lack of sleep and a few quiet nights in. ;-)

I have been to a couple of industry networking do's lately and what I got out of it was that I've done a lot in my career, and I am very happy to be working at the moment. Unfortunately, a large number of participants are wanna be filmmakers not quite working in the industry. I had people ask me what a DOP and and AD do. Now, I don't expect everyone to know this, but if you claim to be in the industry you should really should know some basics. Besides all that it was a great catchup with industry friends who do know what  an AD does.

That was Thursday night - I got home at 2am, my alarm went off at 8 and I was in the office by 9. A can of V and numerous cups of tea saw me through the day and after a good serve of dumplings and  another can of V I headed to Bondi Beach to go ice skating with my girls. Yes - Ice skating on Bondi Beach!! That was pretty cool. I think I was spoilt as a kid skating at the ice rink in my school holidays. I thought the skates were ridiculously blunt and the ice was so carved up it was snow!  No Zamboni!!! Anyhoo, a couple of drinks and home by midnight.

The human body amazes me. 

I woke up on Saturday to what felt like the hangover I should have had on Friday morning. Mind over matter....hmmm? My Body knew I had to get through a day in the office and a night of ice skating on Friday so I delayed the entire hangover by a day. 

It's like when you've been really busy and when you finally get a break, you get sick. On set I CANNOT get sick. I was surrounded by flu and cold germs and even a stomach bug, working in the outdoors in all conditions - day, night, sun, rain, wind. Miraculously, I escaped unharmed. Now, I'm not going to get too cocky here coz I still have another 4 weeks shoot left.

Is it just me or does this happen to everyone?

FOLLOW ME!!

Running a little short on time today and will have to get into it later tonight.

If you read this blog and you get a giggle out of it please follow me or comment.

I just want to know someone is reading this and enjoying it and i'm not just doing this for my own ego and entertainment.

if you have any questions or suggestions send those through too. I'm bound to run out of things to say sooner or later...or not. ;-)

3/7/2011


I rang my mother at 10am this morning, she said, "what are you doing up so early?". How did she know I was out late last night? Mum's, they're amazing!!


What have I been doing this week?  Let's see - 2 movies, a dinner out, strata meeting, location recces,  speed networking, screenings of 2 different shows i have done this past year, dinner at a friend's house, birthday dinner at Thai Potong in Newtown. Busy much?


Seriously - my life is not always like this!! This blog is making it look like it's all I do but remember after sleeping in on Sunday mornings I am at home writing this up on my laptop. 


So last night saw me split my time between my bestie's birthday dinner & drinks in Newtown and the cast & crew screening of HOUSOS. I sandwiched the dinner & drinks with the screening. Thai Potong banquet!!! Belly rubbing goodness all round. It was lovely to see my bestie surrounded by lots of loving friends (old and new and just as kinda split as mine was - but that is the downfall of large groups on long tables. Go the chinese restaurant round table - so much more social!) 
It's the first time in 4 years of pre-shoot drinks, wrap parties and screenings where I couldn't be there and I didn't have to work it. It felt weird to have to sneak away but I went back to catch up with the stayers, and so glad i did.


I also realised just how public an outlet this really is. 
Someone asked me "is it really that hard to meet people these days?". He had read my blog. I was a little surprised coz he isn't quite the target market but hey - if i'm going to post it here then I'm asking for it to be read, right?
I started this after about 6 months of a friend pestering me to start a blog coz I was forever spouting off random comments to her about anything, everything and nothing. So why not share the love and post it all in a blog. I have written for myself for years, never quite sure where it would take me and it seems I now have the arrogance to think what I have to say needs to be heard/read/posted online. 


My aim is to post something weekly. It started after an interesting Saturday night out but it won't always be like that. I do tend to ponder questions about human interaction and relationships but you may get the occasional rant about movies and/or restaurants. Y'know, it's the kind of ramblings you have after a bottle or 2 of red wine and you get all deep and philosophical.

26/06/2011

Another night out in Sydney and what do we learn?

This week we observed the courtship game in the bar atmosphere.

We wonder what the same room of people would be like without alcohol.

Boys are dumb but can still smell vulnerability.

Even tho some boys have belts are they just don't have the asses to hold their pants up

The Paddington Inn followed by Fringe bar.

A different team of single women with me tonight. And I head into the night knowing i will not get drunk, I will leave alone or with the people i arrived with, and it won't be a late one. I do surprisingly succeed at this. Maturity wins through occasionally.

What do we want in a venue? 

Atmosphere, music, cool people to look at and be around and potentially meet and mate with?

both venues score in this regard. Picking up is an easy task in these places, picking up a quality relationship - unlikely, going home with ringing ears - definately.

people are still too scared to get on dancefloors until they have enough liquid courage. I have never understood this. The Jacksons mashed up with some Grandmaster Flash makes if very hard for me to stay seated. Not to mention Salt n Pepper's push it and It's TRICKY!!!!! I think i scared a few people here cos i kinda broke out some old school moves in a  style that confirmed that these songs brought back real childhood memories for me.

How do you go about getting the attention of the opposite sex? At this point I note that I am glad to be female and sexism is still alive and kicking in this forum. It seems it is still up to men to approach women , whether we like it or not.

Suitor # 1 - passes me on the dancefloor and goes straight in for a kiss.  friendly enough, not too sleezy even tho VERY forward. I turn and give him the cheek - he loves it and keeps coming back for more. strange. 

Suitor # 2 - Approaches and takes my hand asking for a dance and my name. this is sweet, unfortunately a less attractive option in the venue and I turn him down.

Suitor # 3 - I am on the dancefloor with friends and i feel one sharp and definate poke in the kidneys. I turn to see a tall, slim boy in a grey t-shirt gesturing for me to come over. OK, i'll bite - what up?

Suitor #3 is playing wingman to Suitor #2. He tells me what a niceguy Suitor 2 is and asks the crucial questions of am i single and how old i am. 

The hunter instinct of males is still active in this game.  Do you go for the older, confident, experienced and sober girls or the young, drunk, wide eyed, new to the big city girl. Yes the later of the group seemed to have a constant buzz of possible suitors surrounding her while the more mature of our group would have shorter encounters with hunters who were shot down with one clean swoop.

An improvement in the height of boys pants this week, more belts were present tho sadly it was proven that it takes more than a tight belt to hold a mans pants up.

WHAT DID I LEARN ON MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR? (18/06/2011) 

Facebook has changed the way we socialise in the real world.
Couples and singles don't mix as well as they used to.
Everyone out in the cross suddenly got way younger than us.
Boys have forgotten what belts are.

To celebrate 38 years on this earth I put out a facebook invitation. no phone calls, emails or texts. whoever happens to see the invite can come, if not - so be it. this is what society has become. and it is completely acceptable for us to say "well i invited you on facebook" often to the response of "but i never go on facebook!" and the one made to feel bad is the person not on facebook.
The facebook event also makes it way too easy for people to hit the "attend button" and then not turn up. this makes it very difficult when trying to book banquets at restaurants these days. People don't commit to things and haven't since text messaging became the norm. Facebook has just added to the acceptability of this non commitment.

Around my birthday table sit my friends, a mixture of old and new. almost a definite divide slices the table into couple/singles which is also the same as over 32 and under 32 AND old friends and new friends. And i am in the middle of it all. we eat, we drink, we chat and a great meal is had by all. (CAFE PACIFICO - I highly recommend it) after dinner we move to the bar for a few more drinks but when we go to move on the couples say goodnight, leaving the single girls to 'party on'. Is this what it has become? is it all about coupling up and settling down? if you have it there is no need to go out and get it? and when we 'go out' is this all we are looking for? why can couples not go to clubs and bars and mix with us single folk?

Chingalings is our first stop. we don't realise until later that we really should have stayed here for the night. we had a couch what were we thinking. we do know this for next time.
Kings Cross, famous for its nightlife, strip bars and pretty flashy lights. We hit World Bar and Sugarmill. World bar seemed like a good option - lots of different rooms, multiple DJ's, teapot cocktails and i had a great time last time i was there. We have out teapot, we get our complimentary (cheap) champagne, we make an effort in every space of this establishment only to realise that young boys have lost the concept of what a belt is. Our visit was bookended by a drunken Greek boy outside the bathrooms with his hairy crack and another young hipster and his blue patterned underwear. Pour boy - if he wasn't insecure before he will be after we laid into him. Next stop Sugarmill, it's made a name for itself and i have always seen a line up in front of it. The line up is just a tease - no one is in there. They line em up to get in, but watch closely and there are as many people sneaking out the side door as what they are letting in. Luckily girls got free entry. Sexism - still going strong but you don't see the girls complaining about this one.

Thank you to my girls who shared this journey of discovery with me. The venues may have got worse as the night went on but the company was always wonderful.