In the Pursuit of Happiness

hmmm, another sunday night of late night blurry headed blogging.

Let's see - being at work form 8am to 11 pm is supremely wrong!
Summer is on it's way but the water is still pretty cold.
Why the need to partner up? - I still don't understand it.

Happiness - it's all anyone wants isn't it?

I was unhappy in my marriage - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I got a divorce.
I was unhappy in my job - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I quit.
But am I happy? I'm content.

I went to a party on Saturday night - I think I was the oldest person there. I shouldn't be hung up on this , but I am very aware of it this year. I don't look my age, I don't think I ever will. So when it comes to coupling up and meeting people I generally get approached by people about 10 years younger than me when based on looks. Then you start talking to them and it soon becomes abundantly clear that we are not in the same place in our lives. House parties and nights out just feel like I have been here before about 10 years ago and I pretend to belong and fit into this world.

Same goes for if I hang out with my married friends. backyard BBQ's surrounded by couples and kids running everywhere. I feel like I don't quite fit there either.

So I keep looking.

I don't know know if I will ever be completely happy. I am happy with where I am in my life, who I am and things a I have achieved, but I will always want more. It's just my nature.