The Island

Do you remember the line in "Stand By Me" - I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

 

My 12 yr old friends were pretty special but I think I have been lucky enough to experience it again at 30.

When I was 30 - we had the ISLAND. We were all young and single and having fun. It was a bit like the show "Friends". We would have weekly adventures that would involve all of us, some weeks more focused on some characters and less on others, regular special guests and lots of bit parts and extras who you can't remember the names or faces of anymore. There were a few intergroup hook ups - some that lasted, some that didn't. It was during a surge of reality TV where people were voted off if they weren't liked enough. We developed an easy way to explain what someones relation to the group was by using this ISLAND analogy. There were the key players - we were citizens of the island. If you were a new friend to the island but we weren't sure about you yet - your visa was awaiting approval. Short term boy/girl friends - temporary residents. Friends who were in but we just didn't see as often - permanent residents who could come and go as they pleased. But if you crossed us, ba-bom - voted off and you were no longer welcome on our island.

The island over time - like the land masses on this earth that separated out to form the continents - has also spread out into satellite islands. Most are married, getting married or co-habitating with partners - they have their own little islands now. Me? I have my own little island and the best boat - coz I tend to be the one that goes and visits everyone. No one's island is quite big enough to get us all on it anymore and I can't remember the last time we all saw each other. I don't even know if that time was as special to them as it was to me. I like to believe it was coz I am still very close to them all, I just don't see them every week like we did back then.

I miss the times I had a close group of friends I could rely on. Now I have a little hermit shack on my little island. I visit the other islands from time to time, and have new networks of islands that I spend time on. Can't wait to see who I might meet at age 50!!

Another big week!

I actually got through quite a bit this week - despite also procrastinating a hell of a lot.
If I want to get fit then I need to exercise - this means going to the beach and swimming. But Y'know, it's been a while so I have to take it easy. And after a good little swim I need to recoup by lying in the sunshine on the sand for a bit. I wasn't lazing at the beach or procrastinating - i was "exercising". There you go - justified.

Loving the whole "working for myself" thing. I do what i want when i want.

How can I be so incredibly busy yet feel so incredibly lazy at the same time. Is that a contradiction?
Maybe if I wasn't so lazy, I'd actually get everything done and therefore wouldn't feel stupid busy.
Been sleeping in, got a new car stereo installed, did a chunk of Christmas Shopping (YAY - toys are us!!), did Sculptures by the sea, caught up with mates and made some new old connections.

Things are so disposable these days. I buy a new pair of Havaianas every year, cars aren't made to last much more than 5 years, financial records only have to be kept for 5 years, I disposed of my marriage after only 3 years, I work freelance contracts.  Everything is disposable. BUT beware - Things have a tendancy to come around again.

I have been making new connections with people from my past this week. I got an email from someone from the very beginning of my career 18 years ago asking me to work on his new project, and I also found someone I worked with back in 96 by the pure coincidence of doing a small favour for a friend. Very Random! People remember you - it can be good and bad - but so far it's been good for me.

I really need to reduce my alcohol intake of late (I blame you ROB!) I have been drinking like I am on holidays - ie Often.  The other downfall is the saturday morning sleep in and hangover which means you don't get your ass to the beach until all the bloody tourists have set up camp.

HIGHLIGHTS
HINKY DINKS - highly recommended small bar at 185  Darlinghurst Road.  I had a Dinky 5-0 cocktail. So yeah, a funky 60's decor with cool cocktail names, little kitchen containers like my mum has and they have a mini popcorn maker!! So much fun. But get in early - they close at midnight.

BANK ACCOUNT - A hefty surprise pay out from the corporate job that i quit. Happy Bank account! :-)

So there you go - my priorities and what makes me happy - alcohol, money and cute popcorn makers!

What a Smurferific Week I've had!!

Wow, What a week!!!

Let's see: -
1. finished up at soul sapping job, got lovely bunch of flowers and big box of Malteasers.
2. got to go to post office for not 1 but 2 parcels: A- my smurfs have come back to me, and B - Halloween card form Vancouver.
3. beach swim and brunch with fellow beach bum
4. had huge overdue catchup with a bestie that involved a bottle of Peterson's sparkling shiraz
5. a very entertaining friday night out with a mate
6. a surprise visit from the desert
7. lots of beach and swimming in the ocean
8. Another healthy birth of a little baby girl
9. huge win on my own short film
10. and today, i am having home made congee.

So what do you want to hear about? I want to tell stories of my Friday night out at many venues around Sydney city with a male friend as opposed to previous prowl nights out with the girls. It's a different dynamic and you get a very different take on things.

From suits out on Friday night drinks at Customs house, to intimate cocktails at Stitch, to a Frenchman telling me about how dark rum is a man's drink and girls can't handle it, to meatmarket and dam good boogie at Marble Bar.

When with a group of girls, they tend to encourage meeting new people and paying individual men special attention whether you really want to or not. With a male friend, the slightest sign that says "I'm not really into this guy" and my friend will finish his drink and announce "C'mon were getting outta here." The other noteworthy thing is the funny look people get just before asking that crucial "Is he your boyfriend?" question, and then the actions they take as soon as you say no, he's not my boyfriend. Seriously,  does pulling a girl in closer and trying to kiss her neck at lightning attack speed really give you the right impression? To be fair - it did convey his message loud and clear and I knew exactly what he was after. Though do you really keep trying when a girl has moved off with her "minder" to the other bar and then points out that you have been trying the same thing on a good dozen other girls in the same venue. Shut Down Dude!!

I was also privvy to the male mind of dating this weekend. Rules and games of numbers, going solo vs the two man wingman approach, having to "take one for the team" and keep the friend occupied (esp difficult if she is less attractive) and if there are too many guys then the focus changes from picking up chicks to getting drunk with the lads.
Silly me - all this time I just wanted to hang out with friends and enjoy their company and have some fun. I never knew it was this complicated!

Have a Smurfy week my friends!!
(and yes the Smurfs in the photo are mine and they are original!, am I showing my age again?)

In the Pursuit of Happiness

hmmm, another sunday night of late night blurry headed blogging.

Let's see - being at work form 8am to 11 pm is supremely wrong!
Summer is on it's way but the water is still pretty cold.
Why the need to partner up? - I still don't understand it.

Happiness - it's all anyone wants isn't it?

I was unhappy in my marriage - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I got a divorce.
I was unhappy in my job - so I took the necessary steps to make myself happier - I quit.
But am I happy? I'm content.

I went to a party on Saturday night - I think I was the oldest person there. I shouldn't be hung up on this , but I am very aware of it this year. I don't look my age, I don't think I ever will. So when it comes to coupling up and meeting people I generally get approached by people about 10 years younger than me when based on looks. Then you start talking to them and it soon becomes abundantly clear that we are not in the same place in our lives. House parties and nights out just feel like I have been here before about 10 years ago and I pretend to belong and fit into this world.

Same goes for if I hang out with my married friends. backyard BBQ's surrounded by couples and kids running everywhere. I feel like I don't quite fit there either.

So I keep looking.

I don't know know if I will ever be completely happy. I am happy with where I am in my life, who I am and things a I have achieved, but I will always want more. It's just my nature.