So I find myself "between gigs" again. This is the life of a freelancer. And something I will never get used to is the post wrap depression. The jump from spending 10hrs + for however many days it takes with the people who depend on you to know everything - Where are the toilets, what's for lunch , how far is the next location, how do I get there, is it going to rain? What are we doing next, do we need blood in the next scene. Now much of this is warranted but with the popularity of smart phones and easy access to google, I really feel that many of these questions do not need me to answer them. It really is easier to ask someone rather than look it up yourself , isn't it? I have caught myself doing this, but more often than not I am the one people turn to before google.
So what to do with down time?
I have made a few phone calls sent a few emails for work, and almost caught up on The Walking Dead (Marathon viewing) . I still need to have a cleaning frenzy and should probably buy some new clothes as all my work pants are starting to fall apart. I did sacrifice a pair for the sake of an empty room and a much needed cartwheel. Trust me, it needed to be done!! And thank god I wore underwear that day!
I plan to catch up with friends, go to the museum (There's a new one), write (yes, this blog counts), should get some work on my car done, should do some work on the apartment (but that can wait, and it requires funds that I do not have)
I have been struggling for way too long. I am working as hard as anyone else but without the financial reward. I really need to stop whinging about it and find a better paid job. My life is not about the money but for years I have been putting things on hold. Things like a holiday, new car, work on my home. Why have I not been able to achieve them? Because I have stagnated!!!!
How many times in this blog alone have I said I needed a change? Yep, still waiting on it. Still can't see it!
So I was out with my girlfriends the other day. Three are mothers and the other is wanting to be one. It was seen as sad news that she wasn't pregnant. So I tried to lighten the mood by announcing that I too, was not pregnant, and that was a good thing. They didn't find it amusing in the least.
I have been reacquainting myself with my culture. The recent death of my grandmother brought about many traditions and ceremonies that need to be conducted to ensure a comfortable afterlife for the deceased. I love it. It also means spending time with my parents and learning about the traditions that are slowly disappearing and losing their authenticity as we get watered down in this society.
I am saddened at how surprised my aunts and uncles are that I am willing to take the time to participate in these ceremonies and that I choose to participate out of interest not duty.
I have been to 3 funerals this year. Makes you think. Peoples lives are measured by the amount of offspring they produce, it all comes down to family.
I put together sideshow representations of 2 lives for 2 funerals this year. My sister realized that if we were to show her life in photos right now she would be dressed in shorts and sneakers for much of it. We don't dress up like they used to. A generation that put on their best clothes to go traveling abroad, a generation who went to balls. We don't do it anymore and despite almost everyone having a camera in their pockets these days, there aren't many photos of us. Can you imagine a funeral of the future and a slideshow of Facebook selfies being what our lives are remembered for?
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