No, Im not dramatic enough to be writing about my own mortality. On the eve of my 45th Birthday I received news of my Uncle passing. So I spent much of the day crying and reminiscing. I guess I was closer to this uncle than most even though he lived in another country. But that country was Canada and I lived with him and my Aunt for a year when I was studying in Vancouver.I don't know if I have a lot to say about this topic right now but I liked the title.
I guess what I want to say is - Perspective, Everyone will say "Happy Birthday" to me today and I'm not very happy. Do I fake it? I know people die every day and life goes on and that doesn't mean we should stop celebrating. But this year may be a little bit tougher.
OK - getting older! I had a moment last night when I couldn't remember if I was 44 or 45. Didn't help that my mother was sure I was only 44 too! I always used to think that number sounded soo old and my and everyone else's expectations of what that should look like is so far from my actual reality. So I continue to redefine what it means to be *gulp* in my 40's.
I don't look my age, so for those that didn't know how old I am - surprise!! I had a marketing call that I didn't hang up on a few weeks ago and was asked my age bracket. I reluctantly answered honestly and from only the few minutes on the phone the voice on the other end of the phone thought the same thing. "You don't sound that old!". So it's not just an appearance thing?
What makes me not a "grown up"? Spirit? Attitude? Don't know what to call it but I don't fit into the same box as many of my peers. I think a lot of adults (and I use the term loosely) forget how to play. They get so bogged down in 'life' and responsibility they forget how to have fun. Very true in Sydney these days - you can feel it. I asked my Dad if he felt like he was in his 70's and if he felt like he had it/life/stuff figured out - Simple answer - nope!
I once asked a nephew what we would do if he didn't have to go to school and I didn't have to go to work? His face lit up and the answer was simple - We could PLAY all day!!
Will I ever grow up? I hope not!!
*Sorry, the point of this blog wasn't to elicit sympathy it was to acknowledge all my friends who have lost parents and/or had to dedicate a large chunk of their lives to nursing and caring for parents. I realise this is the age where we start saying goodbye to the generation above us. I just forgot to write about it yesterday.
