The last blog was the 39 yo me freaking out about turning 40 but I'm over that now. Now that I am another year wiser I have learnt that nothing really changes except I am now eligible for free mammograms.
People in relationships tell me their problems, single friends tell me their problems, parents, childless...the list goes on. No one is truly completely happy. I am content and I'm not materialistic but a little more money would make me happier. If money wasn't an issue I would be in New York right now. And maybe Spain later this year. I wouldn't have to worry about renting my place out or finding a flatmate so I can afford the bills. I would be able to pick and choose what projects I could work on and this would mean making my own stuff and working with all my friends on it. So c'mon sugar daddy, where are you?
If I had all the money in the world I bet I still wouldn't be happy. I just want enough to fully enjoy my life. Think of when you were a kid and money didn't matter. you didn't have to worry about earning money, paying bills, time all you had to do was play. It would be great!! it's just that my idea of playing now that I am older is a lot more expensive, damn it!
Forty is great. I am old enough to grumble about "young people these days" and young enough to still call people old. My grandparents lived well into their 80's and 90's so I may not have even made it to mid life crisis yet?! It does help that I don't look 40, not sure I act like I'm 40 either.
So the party. My not yet 40 friends insisted that I have a party this year. I didn't want to but I am glad I did. A good turnout of family and friends form all different parts of my life. I haven't done that great a job of keeping up with people from my past. Facebook helps but I realised most of the people there were my core group of friends who I have known for about 10-15 years now and people that i have worked with in the past 3 years. I think I really noticed because I a guy from my Newtown days turned up who I bumped into recently but we haven't really know each other since I was about 24 and he didn't know anyone. Anyhoo, I was feeling the love in the room and 2 long distance guest appearances from Canberra and Cairns made for a very happy night. The night ended with me and a few hard core stragglers stumbling down King street being rejected from every bar on the street. Nice to know I can turn 40 and still not get into pubs at 2 in the morning on King street, I even woke up without much of a hangover the next day and I thought to myself - maybe I am finally learning.
Then I had a work function with bar tab the following week, I haven't learnt.
I think I write better when I am depressed. I don't think the blogs are as good when my psyche isn't tormented.
