My Anti Valentines

You wanna piss me off today? Just say "Happy Valentine's Day!"

My anti Valentine's Day sentiments are not because I am a bitter and single divorcee. I do believe in love and there is a romantic in me just not a roses and chocolate kind of romantic that must be acknowledged on a day that everyone tells me it should be acknowledged kind. And a quick google search tells me that I am far from alone or original in this thought. Scrolling back through this blog I actually say the same thing in Feb of 2012. But It needs to be said again coz the message just aint getting through.

I cannot believe that Hallmark has managed to convince so many people world over that this is a legitimate celebration; cause for greeting cards, overpriced chocolates, flowers and flower shaped chocolates. Not to mention jewellery sales.

In North America they celebrate it from a young age giving cards and candy to school friends. But in Australia they focus much heavier on the socially idealized version of romantic couple love. Does this not segregate a large portion of the population? Maybe it's because I am not a huge fan of flowers or chocolate that this day offends me as much as it does. What about hay fever sufferers and lactose intolerant or dieting people?! Cut flowers, whether bought for the inflated Valentine's prices or not, are pretty for a little while. But then they get smelly and die.

There is a friend of mine who has turned up at my door with a single frangipani for me. It's sweet, even though I know he picked it up off the ground just outside my front door. Frangipani's only last a day or two so it's fitting because it's kinda representative of our relationship. 

Another dear friend of mine once met me with plastic flowers delivered in the most unelegant, unromantic way possible. He gave me a little bouquet of yellow plastic flowers upturned in a little shopping bag as we met on the steps of town hall. But they are plastic, low maintenance and they will last forever. I like to think this is also representative of the relationship. I can't name names but he knows who he is.

Down time

*This was written earlier this year when I had a few weeks off - I really thought I  had posted it!

So I find myself "between gigs" again. This is the life of a freelancer. And something I will never get used to is the post wrap depression. The jump from spending 10hrs + for however many days it takes with the people who depend on you to know everything  - Where are the toilets, what's for lunch , how far is the next location, how do I get there, is it going to rain? What are we doing next, do we need blood in the next scene. Now much of this is warranted but with the popularity of smart phones and easy access to google, I really feel that many of these questions do not need me to answer them. It really is easier to ask someone rather than look it up yourself , isn't it? I have caught myself doing this, but more often than not I am the one people turn to before google.

So what to do with down time?
I have made a few phone calls sent a few emails for work, and almost caught up on The Walking Dead (Marathon viewing) . I still need to have a cleaning frenzy and should probably buy some new clothes as all my work pants are starting to fall apart. I did sacrifice a pair for the sake of an empty room and a much needed cartwheel. Trust me, it needed to be done!! And thank god I wore underwear that day!
I plan to catch up with friends, go to the museum (There's a new one), write (yes, this blog counts), should get some work on my car done, should do some work on the apartment  (but that can wait, and it requires funds that I do not have)

I have been struggling for way too long. I am working as hard as anyone else but without the financial reward. I really need to stop whinging about it and find a better paid job. My life is not about the money but for years I have been putting things on hold. Things like a holiday, new car, work on my home. Why have I not been able to achieve them? Because I have stagnated!!!!
How many times in this blog alone have I said I needed a change? Yep, still waiting on it. Still can't see it!

So I was out with my girlfriends the other day. Three are mothers and the other is wanting to be one. It was seen as sad news that she wasn't pregnant. So I tried to lighten the mood by announcing that I too, was not pregnant, and that was a good thing. They didn't find it amusing in the least.

I have been reacquainting myself with my culture. The recent death of my grandmother brought about many traditions and ceremonies that need to be conducted to ensure a comfortable afterlife for the deceased. I love it. It also means spending time with my parents and learning about the traditions that are slowly disappearing and losing their authenticity as we get watered down in this society.
I am saddened at how surprised my aunts and uncles are that I am willing to take the time to participate in these ceremonies and that I choose to participate out of interest not duty.

I have been to 3 funerals this year. Makes you think. Peoples lives are measured by the amount of offspring they produce, it all comes down to family.
I put together sideshow representations of 2 lives for 2 funerals this year. My sister realized that if we were to show her life in photos right now she would be dressed in shorts and sneakers for much of it. We don't dress up like they used to. A generation that put on their best clothes to go traveling abroad, a generation who went to balls. We don't do it anymore and despite almost everyone having a camera in their pockets these days, there aren't many photos of us. Can you imagine a funeral of the future and a slideshow of Facebook selfies being what our lives are remembered for?

More opinions about men today and the tale of Tinderella

SO I wrote this while waiting for a tinder date who was running late - bad start!!

Regular readers and friends will know about my attitude towards traditional dating and coupledom so you know this is not normal for me. This particular blog is also a little more revealing than I usually like to be on here.

I decided to give this Tinder thing a whirl. After speaking to various friends and colleagues about their experiences with Tinder I thought "What the hell?". I have been on there for about a month and I am quickly starting to lose interest. It was great for a while, just like a game. If I was waiting for someone or on a bus, instead of playing Candy Crush you could 'play' on Tinder. My friends (married and single) were totally entertained by it when I showed them my account. It was FUN!

BUT with every guy I meet on here the more I am convinced that it can't be found in one neat package. Different men/people are good for different things.

So there will be huge generalizations here but there are 2 main camps of men. Most on tinder are after a "quick hook up". Easy, simple, no further explanation required but here is an amusing video I came across on Facebook about Tinderella.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLoRPielarA

Some chat too eagerly giving the impression that they aren't used to talking to girls. Or they just have no idea how to chat at all!! And even after initial contact all you get to start a conversation in an uninspired "hello"?!

There are some genuine sweet guys on here. Their intentions are a little more complicated. But so are mine. Some keep chatting hoping they will still get the hook up. 

Some just send you nice messages like any friend might. And that intrigues me. 

Losing interest now.

If they are a little too keen and haven't asked you a single question about yourself - who you are, what you like, what you do? Then you kinda know what they are after and then make your choice whether to pursue it or not.

Some don't know how to have a conversation. Fair enough a text conversation may not be the best indication but I'd like to know people who can string a sentence together. If your text game is that bad then go old school and try using your phone as a phone and  call me!

And when they ask for your number a little too soon it usually leads to inappropriate photos landing in your text inbox. Hey - if that's your thing, go for it, who am I to judge?

Date  Scenario 1 - my summary was the more he talked, the less interested I became but he had really good wine so I stayed a little longer than I should had. Now I don't care how good your wine is - he was a bad kisser so NO thanks.

Date Scenario 2 - he was keen via text so I agreed to meet up. Oh dear! No thanks. I really should listen to my gut more.

Date Scenario 3 - The pretty boy who can communicate fine by text, it's working then you meet up and getting conversation out of him is like pulling teeth. Luckily knows how to kiss a girl and is absolutely gorgeous - but I'm not that shallow. 

So where is Mr tall dark and gorgeous, who knows how to kiss a girl, have a good conversation and appreciates a smart capable woman. Does it exist? Am I expecting too much for it all to be wrapped up in one neat package. Maybe...

Too many people I see settle for near enough is good enough thinkng they can change their partner. And I listen to them whinge about their lives and their partners! Just accept it! And I say this about all facets of life - you chose it, if you don't like it, if you are not happy then change it, do something about it. 

Anyhoo, all this 'research' has inspired me to start writing a new story, which is a good thing.

The Youth of Today!!

For a while I was feeling my age as cocky 20-something, half formed adults were getting very annoying and would induce the groan of "oh, the youth of today!!" .

But this subspecies has been redeemed in my eyes by a few fine upstanding examples.

I have come across people in their early 20's seriously asking why I think they couldn't do my job. The simple answer is 15 years experience and training. With 2 old ladies barking that at her, I think she kinda got the hint.

They have an attitude where they give the impression that they know everything and can do anything. An esteemed colleague of mine in his 70's to this day lives by the rule that there is always more to learn. I agree and these youngans have cost time and money at work because they were unwilling to admit their inexperience. They take on roles that they are not familiar with and get surprised when its not quite what they expected and that its actually hard work.

I do admire the enthusiasm. I was like that once too but there is a difference between enthusiasm and naive enthusiasm. I get enthusiastic but I know what I am getting into because I have the life experience to ask the right questions. though I like to consider myself spontaneous - have I just contradicted myself?

Anyway, I digress. Let me tell you about the good ones. I have recently met a string of lovely young people studying and traveling through renting out my spare room. I have 20yo nursing students from Country NSW, a young swiss boy and an Austrian girl. They are all very polite and friendly, they take responsibility for themselves and they listen to my advice. AND they don't make me want to roll my eyes and throw my arms up in frustration. I actually have proper and interesting conversations with them (with the exception of the happenings of Big Brother).

There are still a lot of annoying ones out there, maybe it has something to do with youths from Aussie cities Vs other towns and countries. Who knows, Maybe some people are just idiots and they can come from anywhere in the world and I have been lucky.

And what is up with hashtags??? Once the least used button on any telephone and now entire status update are written with only a # punctuating it.

Check this skit - Funny
Hashtag skit - Jimmy Fallon & JT

Day 8 - home time

Sleep in

Hangover

Mini massage

Tuk tuk to airport. 

Good bye Joe

Chaing Mai to Phuket

Phuket to KL - blog catchup

KL to Sydney. Home sweet  home. And its much warmer that I expect. Spring has definitely sprung. The only time I wore my sneakers and hoodie were on the plane. I tick the box on arrival that says I have been to a rural area and she wants to check my shoes and I pull out my thongs. I thought it was funny but controlled myself so as not to be too weird in front of the immigration officer.

After all my travels and I get the Sydney cab driver asking for my number and if he can take me for coffee?!? That usually happens when I am away, hahaha!

Home -  Am I tired? Am I hungry? Really want to brush my teeth. Jump in shower. Its about time for a nap. I was SO busy leading up to this holiday and I have come back to nothing and no one. No plans other than I really should find some work. I make a few calls and let people know I am back but its only been a week and really not much has changed of anyone else. Maybe I should start planning the next trip.

I found lego Yoda in KL

Day 7 - Chaing Mai city

A good sleep in then breakfast.

We drive down to Chaing Mai city after breakfast and see our accom for the evening at Spicy in the city ( hostel style accommodation in the spicy/ next step Thailand office)

It's hot! But we feel we should make the effort to see the city despite being in relax mode after our time in the mountains. We do a short walk to one of the main temples, stop in lots of shade and find cool water before stopping for another local bite to eat. 

We call it quits and head back to Spicy for a nap in the air conditioning. 

Tonight Joe wants to drink and show us his city. We start at the office with a bottle of scotch, red bull and a few local friends. 

Here's the night in a nut shell.- 

Pub crawl/ drunk night. 

Freedom bar

Bob Marley/ cart food

Yellow backpacker club area

The boys try to tell the fortunes of 3 young American girls. 

Late night, sleep.

Day 5 - travel to Chaing Mai

A nice sleep in this morning. It is the only morning I didn't book anything for myself and I wasn't jet lagged. The drinks last night probably helped too.

A slow morning, a late breakfast then a little walk around to try and find the best deal to the airport. It bucketed down just as we had to go and the beach really wasn't very inviting today so an easy day to be leaving Patong beach. The drive to the airport was at times through about 10 cms of water on the road.  So airport, abuse of free wifi, a little window shopping then onto our little plane to Chaing Mai. 

We have no idea what to expect. My friend messaged a friend of a friend he had met once who runs a little tour company in Chaing Mai. We shall call him Joe. Joe says, great, just let me know when you are getting in and I will put together an itinerary for you. 

We feel like rock stars getting picked up from the airport with our names on a little sign. A quick stop at the shops and we drive and drive some more, up and up the mountain we go. The road gets a little rougher and "highway to hell" starts playing. Hmm, coincidence? After about 3 hrs we arrive at our destination, the amazing and beautiful Spicy Villas just in time for dinner. Spicy villas is an Eco lodge in the mountains of Chaing Mai run by a local boy (our man Joe). You can stay there as a volunteer or guest through air BnB and couch surfers. It is a really rustic and homey feel and they treat you as family. The food is amazing! A lot of the veges and herds are grown in the lush garden and they even raise a few chickens and a little piglet. If you are ever in Chaing Mai I highly reccommend spending always nights up here. It is very remote but defiantly worth it. 

There are 2 other guests who arrived earlier that day. An English girl and an Italian girl. We all chat and get to know each other over dinner and beers before turning into our little hillside bungalows. Luxury with bed, mozzie net electricity (solar) and an ensuite.

http://www.chiangmaiecolodges.com